Here nor there...

I'm on the brick, not ready for here nor there, unable to commit.  I should be totally content; a new life, just what I wanted, just what I asked for.  Instead I feel totally restless, stuck almost.  I don't want to do anything, feel completely useless, worthless.  Invaluable would be the best adjective.  With school looming ahead, assuring I'll pay more and more money for wasted time and imminent failure.  All for a career I'll most likely hate in 10 years.  Jeremiah says it's called being 22 and fuck, I'm tired of it.  I want to be self assured, secure, confident, a force to be reckoned with.  Instead I'm full of doubt, what ifs, and what shoulds.  Ick, and I'm usually so optimistic!  Maybe the change in seasons will improve my outlook.  Shite, here's hoping.